Geoffrey's A** is Grass

I have a personal trainer.

His name is Geoffrey.  Pronounced Joffrey.  With a British accent.

He lives in my head.

I made him up.

I don't like him.

He's cruel and full of trickery.

Here was our conversation this morning.

Geoffrey:  Eat a banana and then go put on your sports bra.
Me:  I'm not working out today.
Geoffrey:  Ok, you don't have to but you do need to put on your sports bra under your pajamas.
Me:  Why?
Geoffrey:  Just do it, you don't have to work out but you do need to put on that sports bra.
Me:  Fine.  Turn around.
Geoffrey:  Don't be silly, I'm gay. (handing me the banana)
Me:  Wow!  Okay.  (eating banana and putting on sports bra)
Geoffrey:  Ok, now you just need to turn on the Wii Fitness video and get the balance board out.
Me:  I thought you said I didn't have to work out.
Geoffrey:  You don't, but you do have to turn it on.  Go on.
Me:  I don't get it but ok.
Geoffrey:  Now stand up on the board and press start.
Me:  What?  I'm not going to...
Geoffrey:  Do it.  You don't have to work out, you just have to watch it.
Me:  You're weird but fine.  (Turning on the 10 minute free run)
Geoffrey:  Ok GO!!  It's starting without you and your going to have a big zero if you don't do this.  It will look really bad on your fitness assessment and it will mess up your progress.
Me:  I hate you!  (working up a sweat)

Holly

xxx-ooo